Have you ever listened to a friend talk about themselves? You know that conversation…She says,”I’m not good at _____,” and you spend the rest of your time with this friend explaining how they are in fact quite good at _____. Isn’t it exhausting sometimes? Don’t you want to tell her to stop belittling herself that way? And don’t you wonder what it’s like when she looks in the mirror?
What’s it like when you look in your mirror? What is the last kind thing you said about yourself to yourself? You know…that little voice that handles your self-talk. Do you remember? Why don’t you think about it?
Go ahead. Think about it. I’ll wait….
While I wait and you think, I’ll share. Earlier today, I was on a rare trip to the mall. It always feels like a trip to hell, so I was on a mission. I knew exactly what I wanted, and calculated the approximate time it would take to procure the item in question. I inherited this trait from my Dad.
Anyway, I walked in and spotted what I was there for. On the way to the register, I spotted another item. It was splendid, this gorgeous blousy thing the likes of which I rarely glance at, much less stop in my tracks over. I am fortunate that my work clothes for the most part are yoga pants, so business or dress attire isn’t a necessity. But this top…
I could feel myself light up the way I lit up as a kid when I’d saved my babysitting money to buy a pair of fancy pink ballet slipper-style heels. (Those are another story…once a shoe girl, always a shoe girl. Don’t let the Danskos fool you.) I touched the fabric, and before I knew it, I had it in hand on my way to the register. While I was standing in line, plotting my next moves, I didn’t hop into the land of shoulds (I should get something more subtle, less showy, more appropriate, black) or the can’ts (I can’t wear that!). Instead, the chatter was fabulous. I had a little celebration in my head. I said to myself, “That color is going to look amazing!” And I didn’t stop there. I told myself how exciting it was to find something so vibrant and unusual. I told myself how fantastic it’s going to look. And it went on from there.
I tell you all this, because it’s taken a long time to get to a place where I can listen to the voice in a way that is celebratory, instead of inflammatory. I am happy to be in a space in my life where the self-talk is positive. I can share this story. There was a time when I wouldn’t have. The things I’ve said to myself in the past are things that I’d unfriend you for saying.
Watch your mouth! Watch what you say to yourself. Think about it…would you say these things to your best friend? If you wouldn’t say it to another human, why on this Earth would you say it to yourself?
Words carry so much energy and power. They can force a smile or a frown. They can cause tears or laughter, someone else’s or your own.
When you look in the mirror, watch your mouth. Choose carefully and from love when you speak to yourself.
Love and turkey, y’all. Namaste.