Are You Living in Color?

Are you living in color?  I’m curious…are you?

I spent a long time just drifting  along.  There were many years that I existed, settling for a routine existence that made a lot of people feel good about me.  I was safe.  I fit the mold.  I was grey.

After a long period of struggle, after years of allowing my decisions to be made by external forces, I remembered something.  I remembered myself, my soul…I looked in the mirror and saw the spark of the person I once was.  She looked familiar, but way down deep, I saw a glint in her eye, a flash, a little color.  It was still there, although I had long forgotten.  I started thinking about when the last time I felt colorful was.  Sadly, it took a while for me to remember.

Fast forward…or maybe slow forward.  Once I recognized how grey I’d become, I missed the color down deep in my bones.  It wasn’t a feeling I can really explain with words even now, but it’s one that you’d recognize yourself if you’d ever felt it. I knew I had to make some serious changes.  I knew I was meant to do more, give more, share more, love more.  I knew I was not being true to myself by staying grey.  I knew I was not putting into the world what I was here to share.I had to get the color back.  I had no choice.

I could fill the rest of the day writing about all the steps forward and back I took over those years trying to get back into a life that was colorful.  I wanted vibrance and love and I wanted to connect with people in ways that I knew were possible, but that I hadn’t learned.  I wanted every day to shine.  And I will not lie and tell you it was easy, or without great cost on may levels.

But I will tell you this: it was the best gift I’ve ever given myself.  I set myself free.  That’s what the color is really; it’s freedom.  It’s sleeping well after a long day of work that I love and that loves me back.  It’s connection to other humans who accept nothing less than that freedom for themselves.  It’s finding ways to inspire others to seek that color.  It’s keeping myself in motion, and sharing that motion with others so that forward is the way we go, always in color.  Always reaching for lives that are by design loving toward ourselves and toward each other.  Always moving to freedom, away from expectations that don’t match our souls.

I know firsthand what living in color is like, and how life can change when you dig in deep and refuse to settle for anything less that what drives your soul.  I know it’s hard to go against the grain of families and friends and all the shoulds and coulds.  I know it’s painful to rebuild.  And I know that I cannot fathom life any other way.

So I’m asking you again…are you living in color?  If not, how could you?  What would it take?   It can be done…I’m living (colorful) proof.

Love and color, people.  Love and color.

 

 

 

Blessings…

It’s almost Christmas. I’m here with my family. I’ve done the requisite travel, some shopping, lots of gift-making (that’s my favorite), baking, wrapping, etc. And I have to be honest…I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. Last week I had the opportunity for the first time in a great while to catch up with several friends, old and new. I spread my little bags and boxes of Holiday cheer. Others shared theirs with me. I was able to spend time with the people I value most, and who value me. And I get to do that more over the next few days. I have celebrated to solstice with a beautiful group of people, listened to some beautiful music, read, knit, practiced yoga. I’ve done all of my favorite things (and let’s not even get into the food…that’s a whole other level of bliss). As I write all of these things, I’m reading them aloud. I am counting my blessings. I’m doing this as a reminder to myself. As a prayer. So this evening, as I sit here in this warm home, with a full belly and busy hands, my back to a fire and relaxing into the season, I say a thank you to the universe for all of these gifts. I am so filled with gratitude, love and joy. This is bliss. This is serenity. This is amazement and wonder. I wish you all the same magical feelings. I wish you blessings, now and in the coming year.

Namaste