I heard a song the other day called I MAKE MY OWN SUNSHINE, by Alyssa Bonagura. Give it a listen. It certainly made me think.
I’ve taken some time off from writing here. I spent the month of November really working on my ability to feel gratitude and happiness. For everything, really. I made an effort to notice the little things, like the way I got tickled when I had marshmallow all over my nose from a huge cup of hot cocoa. And the big things, like a longstanding request being accepted. So please forgive me for wallowing in that every day bliss. I hope you’ve tried that for yourself. If not, start now. What right this minute are you grateful for? What makes you happy…I mean deep down in your bones happy?
During this experiment, I’ve recognized happiness in all it’s forms and fashions. If our eyes are open, we can see it right in front of us. But we have to be willing to look. And, here’s the hard part, we have to be prepared to examine every situation for the happy. Because it’s there. I promise. It’s there when everything is exactly as you would prefer it. It’s also there when things are so out of sorts that we don’t even recognize ourselves or our surroundings.
Here’s the biggest issue I face: I sometimes want to hand over the job of my happiness to someone else. “You make me happy. Now.” So during my month away, I struggled along. I practiced yoga. I meditated. I really focused those efforts. And, not for the first time (as I’ve said before…work in progress), I learned NOT to hand that power over. That is MY job. No one else’s. And why would I entrust that to anyone but me? First, that is the most arrogant thing I could do. I mean, really, who do I think I am to deserve your undying effort to please me? That’s a tall order. An impossible order that only sets me up to be disappointed and you to disappoint. Why would I punish anyone that way? Second, how could I place that responsibility on another person? I can’t just absolve myself of all responsibility. I am the sole being in charge of ME.
So here are some lyrics to ponder:
It don’t matter if it’s raining
Nothing can phase me
I make my own sunshine
And if you think you can break me
Baby you’re crazy
I make my own sunshine.
So there it is…I make my own sunshine. So do you.